


When Tension's Released

by robotsandmagicalboys



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: M/M, Trans Shepard, ftm shepard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 07:40:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7352059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robotsandmagicalboys/pseuds/robotsandmagicalboys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short rewrite of how Shepard and Garrus get together in Mass Effect 2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Tension's Released

Shepard walked down to the gun battery. His mind racing the whole way. He wanted to jump out of his skin, claw his way out of the ship, and then lose himself in the vacuum of space. Anything would be better that just _waiting_ and _hoping_ that they would somehow manage to get everything they needed to upgrade the ship, fly into the collector base, and making sure _everyone_ got out alive. There was only one thing he could think to do to calm his nerves. The doors swished open.

            “Garrus you busy?”

            “I'm just doing some calibrations. Need something?” Garrus fiddled with a few buttons on the screen then turned to face him.

            “Wanna spar?” Shepard asked.

            He really hoped Garrus would still be up for it. For Garrus it had been years since the last time they sparred. For Shepard it just felt like a few weeks. He could only hope nothing happened in that time that would make Garrus not want to anymore.

            Garrus sighed. Relief? “You wound up too?”

            “As bad as when we were tracking Saren.”

            Garrus nodded. “Me too. Let’s go.”

            Shepard couldn’t hold back his grin as they both walked to the elevator. Paces quicker than normal, but not wanting to run and possibly alarm the crew. They went down to the cargo bay, locked the doors, and pushed several boxes out of the way to clear a space. Luckily no one was ever down there on a regular basis. And Shepard knew that they hadn’t gotten any new cargo in a while so there _shouldn’t_ be a reason for anyone to come down. He really didn’t feel like explaining to the entirety of the new crew why he and Garrus were fighting and that _yes_ everything _really is just fine_. It’d taken the old Normandy crew long enough to except. He didn’t have the time to explain it to the new one. Not when both of them were itching for a fight and needed to get the stress worked out of their systems at least a little bit.

            Shepard didn’t even bother preparing for this. No warm up. No stretching. Just took his stance and kicked at Garrus, aiming for his face. He’d almost hit him too, but Garrus blocked at the last possible moment, smirking.

            “That all you got, Shep? Come on.”

            No holds barred anymore. On his way down to the gun battery, Shepard worried that it wouldn’t be the same. That Garrus would hesitate. That fighting with him would feel different. But just like going on missions again, it still came as easy to him as breathing. Each punch, kick, hit, counter, block, every move and the ebb and flow of the fight felt as fluid as it always had. Garrus definitely learned some new tricks in the two years Shepard was “dead” and that cost him a few rounds, but it didn’t take him long to pick up. Didn’t take long to learn him all over again.

            By the time it was over they’d both collapsed to the ground, panting to catch their breaths. Shepard relished the burning in his muscles. Missed it. They’d probably fought more than they should have, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He could handle some soreness on a mission. And he knew Garrus could too.

            “Been a loooong time since I fought like that,” Garrus sighed, smiling just a little.

            “Two years isn’t that long, Garrus,” said Shepard.

            “I was thinking about a time before that,” Garrus admitted. “It was while I was still served on a Turian fleet... before C-Sec.” He let out a tired laugh. “It seems ridiculous now that we were stressed out about that mission... after what happened with the Saren and the Reapers and now the Collectors.”

            Shepard looked over at him. “It was stressful at the time. That’s what matters.”

           Garrus nodded, though not looking completely convinced. “We were about to hit a Batarian pirate squad. Me and a recon scout had been at each other’s throats. Nerves mostly. She suggested we settled it in the ring. But it wasn't so simple. We were both the top ranked hand to hand specialists on the ship. I had reach, but she had flexibility. It was brutal. After nine rounds the judge called it a draw.”

            Shepard couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh man bet the betters were _pissed_ _!_ ”

            Garrus grinned. “More than you’d imagine. Found out later that people had not only been betting on the fight, but how soon it would happen and who would win.”

            “Did you ever settle it?”

            Garrus hesitated, looking almost sheepish. “.... we held a tie breaker later in her quarters. She claimed the victory seeing how we were in her territory, but I was pretty sure I'd been the real winner.”

            Shepard grinned at him. “Course you were.”

            They lay on the floor, staring at the ceiling in comfortable silence for a few moments.

            “So how do you want to settle our tie breaker?” Shepard asked.

            Garrus smirked. “Never realized you had a thing for men with scars.”

            Shepard sat up immediately, face growing warm as he flushed. He had to think of something quick. Anything to cover it up, but all he could manage was stammering. “I don’t! I mean-” The words stuck in his throat.

            Garrus laughed. “Relax, Shep, I was kidding!” He paused, expression shifting to concern. “Wait, do you…?”

            Shepard looked away, for the first time he couldn’t face his best friend. This was _so_ much worse than worrying if Garrus would be angry he was back from the dead. He’d tried to keep this secret for so long and in one joke everything came crashing down. He heard Garrus shift beside him, armor clinking a little as he sat up.

            “Shepard…” Garrus kept his voice quiet. Careful.

            “Can we just forget this ever happened?” Shepard hoped that would be enough for Garrus to drop the subject. To just go back to joking like they’d always done. And he’d keep ignoring feeling this way like nothing every changed.

            “I don’t think we can just drop this.”

            Shepard clenched his hands, fingernails digging into his palms. Voice tight. “I do have a thing for scars, but that’s not the only reason I like you…” He didn’t want to use the word love. Not yet. Not right now. Not when he could barely get these words out. Didn’t want to have to deal with _that_ fallout right away.

            The seconds dragged on as Garrus remained silent. “Even though I’m not human?”

            Shepard groaned and rubbed his face. Of course Garrus missed the point. He turned back towards him, finally meeting his eyes. Seeing the confusion on Garrus’s face hurt. “This isn't about you being a Turian! This is about you being... _you_.” His shoulders fell. “We've gone on mission after mission together. You've been there for me since the first signs of the Reapers and never doubted me...”

            Shepard jumped as Garrus put his hand on his shoulder. “There's no one else in the galaxy I'd trust more than you, Shepard.” His voice was so sure. Just like every other time he said things that made Shepard’s stomach twist and fill him with warmth.

            “And then you do things like _that_ and I can't decide if I want you to be my friend or if I want something else...” Shepard sighed. “I value our friendship too much to lose it.” Deep breath. “I can't lose _you_ , Garrus.”

            Garrus squeezed his shoulder and kept his voice quiet. “I can't lose you either, Shepard... not again. After I thought you died it tore me apart.” A sigh. “I've told you what happened with my team... and as much as losing them was terrible... and that I couldn't stand to live with myself after that… it didn't hurt as much as losing you.”

            As amazing as it felt to hear Garrus echo his sentiments, that still didn’t answer the question nagging at Shepard. “So what does this _mean_... for us? I mean... do you even like me other than as just a friend?”

            Shepard could handle it if that was the case, really. He’d never expected Garrus to return his feelings. Not now. Not ever. But he needed the answer. At least he’d finally have closure either way.

            Garrus slid his hand down Shepard’s arm, all the way to his hand and squeezed gently. “Hell, Shepard, I'm not going to pretend I've got a fetish for humans. But there's no one else in the galaxy I'd rather be with. As friends or otherwise.”

            “And if it doesn’t work out?”

            “Then we pretend it never happened,” said Garrus. “We forget any of the awkward things that are _bound_ to happen and we keep being friends. It has to be easier than dealing with the Reapers or the Collector mess.”

            Shepard sighed. “Okay...” It wasn’t the ideal situation, but it was something. He wasn’t losing Garrus. Wouldn’t lose Garrus. And that’s what mattered.

            Garrus smirked a little. “So did you like me before the scar or was that really what did you in?”

            Shepard couldn’t help but grin and laugh. “Idiot.”

            Garrus leaned in a little closer, smirking. “Cause that's not the first armor piercing round I've taken. Just the first to the face.”

            And just like that the heat in his face was back. Stomach growing tight. Shepard couldn’t help but just stare up at him. This couldn’t be real.

            “Commander Shepard.” EDI’s voice cut through the tension, had both of them sitting up straight and Garrus yanking his hand away like he’d touched hot coals. “Your presence is being requested in the Communications Room.”

            “Roger that, EDI.” He felt a little relieved that his voice didn’t waver. He looked back at Garrus. “We’ll finish this later?”

            “Yeah, you know where to find me.”

            Shepard nodded and headed up to the Comm Room, begging the universe to let the flush leave his face before he got there.

**Author's Note:**

> This is so short I have no idea why I'm even bothering to post this. And I have no idea if I'm gonna write anymore for this. And I know Shepard being trans really has no baring on anything that happens in this ficlet right now, but this might turn into a series because I have a lot of trans!shepard and garrus headcanons so I figured I'd throw the tag in anyways. Representation is important even if it doesn't majorly effect anything right now.
> 
> Thanks for reading anyways!


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